Submit yourselves therefore to GOD. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

2009-08-31T22:21:00.000-07:00

Interestingly enough, it goes to show that once God has blessed us we simply thank Him for it then just as quickly as those words exit our mouths we move on and forget exactly what He did for us. Simply putting our faith to nothing but a thank you. For Believing in Him we consistently Thank Him for the things He has yet to do and remember the things that He has done for us once before. He's saved my life both spiritually and physically, several times, even though in reality the probability would have been for me to have passed away He has captured me and lifted me back up. For we ALL have a purpose in His will! For we may not know what that is at the moment but I guarantee that we will, in one way or another, do something to Glorify His name, If we believe in Him.

whats it matter

2009-08-08T01:43:00.000-07:00

I wonder some times if you, or anyone knows the way i truly feel for you? If for one second you could feel the love that wants to scream out every second of every hour. Even the thought of your name typed on a screen or something that just reminds me of you, just makes me stop for a second wish that you were thinking the same thing. That when you thought of me that every nerve in your body just melts and you grow numb. Never will this feeling leave, no matter the distance that grows between us, NOTHING can separate the love i have for you. For God has given it and unless He steals it away, i can't let it go. I Will hold on for the rest of my life.

Who will show

Who can know

The answers to my hearts desire

Will my heart have healing

From all the feeling

I have for my admirer

;)

2008-12-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

who knew when all the walls fell, it would hurt this bad.

why didn't they tell me that i was wrong to like you

never did i listen to the voice

that would say that it was wrong

heaven on earth couldn't feel so right if it was so wrong.

i must decide now what to do

to finish or to start over anew

forgetting what we had

to begin something that never started.

not looking back to see what might happen

Or finish this lovely affair that we had

together with the one true love we shared.

to grow together stronger and closer the ever before

and forgetting the thoughts that we once had

striving together to become strong and stable with You!

2008-08-14T23:27:00.001-07:00

Seeing You Leave Me

Hurts More Then Anything

Crying All Night For Some Clarity

Still All I get is Clouding

As The Days Go By

And As Time Passes

The Deep Wounds Start To Die

But For Now It Still Lingers

All I See Is An Investment

Nothing I Did Was A Waste

But This Is Our Statement

We Started And Ended With Haste

Now That I Look Back

I See Two Who Were

Not Mature

Neither Did Wrong Or Lacked

The Day Grows To The End

And Someday They Will Mend

And Through God's Eyes

Be Together The Rest Of Their Lives

Forever Until The End.

2008-08-07T01:24:00.000-07:00

Third of many.. and this will be a long one hehe.. sry already..

Today Is A New

You Say You Love Me

And Always Stand True

But Where Did You Go

Where Can I Find You

You Scream.. For.. Me..

You Still Remain Hidden

You Say You Seek Me

Seek My Guidence

Here I Stand

Where Are You

Come And Find Me

(chorus)

When You Call

Know Im Coming

Know Im Running

When You're Scared

Know I'm Here

Know I'm Listening

When You Run

Know I'm Chasing

Know I'm Caring

Waiting For You To Come Back To Me

I'll Be Here, Waiting For You

And You'll Feel Me Holding You

Comforting You, Reminding You To

Stop You Worrying, Your Fears Will End

Know I'm Here Forever

Forever Until The end

(chorus)

Now You've Found Me Yet Again

Let's Run Until We End

Here I Am Once More Somehow

But Know I'm Here With You Now

Never Again Shall We Part

You Are Forever In My Heart

Or maybe not as long as i was going to have it.. hehe.. I didnt write out the chorus the second time hehe.. well i hope you enjoy it.. later there shall be more.. but we can only hope for now.. Inspiration has to be just around the bend.. Hope tho it isnt to far for me to see..

2008-08-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

Here the second of alot that i have..

When I Laid Eyes On You

My Heart Stopped

And Jaws Dropped

And I Had Thought

I Had Found The One

We Laughed

We Fought, And Cried

We Sought Eachother

We Sought God

Only To Learn You Were

You Were Planning On Leaving

Not Knowing You Were

Taking My Heart Away Too

Best Friends With Love

Both Together We Held Tight

Praying Night And Day

Talking And Sharing

Closer.. And Closer We Got

We Laughed

We Fought, And Cried

We Sought Eachother

We Sought God

Only To Learn You Were

You Were Planning On Leaving

Not Knowing You Were

Taking My Heart Away Too

Now We Sit Here

But It Is I Who Sits Alone

Devistated By The Past

And My Heart Is Still Missing

Never Do I Want It To Leave You

Alway Will I Want It Back

I Want It to Return

To The Way It Was Before

But I Now Know That I Only Burn

Burn For That To Happen

Friends Now Only

The Love Has Been Taken

And The Hurt Has Grown So

... Last verst just wrote.. well Typed.. i havent even written it down.. tell me if you like it..

Long time NO see!

2008-08-06T02:13:00.000-07:00

well i havent been on here... at all really.. i think i might have given up on this.. but i wanted to type what i have been writing lately.. like ya.. well here it is

Someone Find Me

Put Me Out Of My Misery

She Told Me That I Wasn't The

Even After All The History

My Heart Is Vulnerable

I Need Something To Strengthen It

Who Knew It Was Possible

To Fall Into Such A Deep Pit

Where Did I Lose Her

Only God Can Tell The Truth

She Forgot How We Were Together

And He'll Lead You To The Right Booth

There Is Only Two Choices But YOU Have To Choose

Left Is Where Satan Lives

Right Is to God Who Does Not Lose

But It's Up To You And Your Motives Must be True

Only Then Will You Understand The Mistery

Not sure what that is.. but ya just wrote it down sitting outside of my friend's house before he got home.. like 10 min.. if that... hehe.. if more is wanted to be written let me know.. i have alot.. haha.. just holla!

Love you all!

wow..

2008-06-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

wow.. so it has been a while.. lol.. sorry i really dont know if i like this thing or not.. anyways with that out of the way..

This summer hasn't been looking promising so far.. but tonight.. thanks to someone my fire was started again! The words of life came without even thinking.. the truth of God just rambled out of me like bullets out of a gun.. almost forced.. man I love to be back in this.. maybe this summer will be looking more on the up and up from here on out!

WOOHOO!!! Let's get started on the work or the lord now!!!

Love you guys!

2008-06-03T01:00:00.000-07:00

Okay well a couple days ago I went to Lifestock '08. I had so much fun! I got to see people i havent seen in almost a year and like just be able to be with people all day, which made me happy!!! I didnt tho get to worship.. i think i heard and stayed in the arena area like 10 min and then left! Im kinda upset tho i missed it but in missing it I got to see my dad for like 20 min! Which i loved because i dont get to see him much! Then i got back and when i did, like 3 min after i got back in the worship was over.. so man it kinda sucked really.. but The whole day was fun, besides my back was hurting and my foot was aching.. well i mean i wasnt the only one.. im not saying i had it the worst but i did have it bad i suppose.. i guess me jumping to go see Craig wasnt the smartest thing.. man i dont know but riding the farris wheel was so much fun.. the last ride of the night and we all just needed some talking time.. lol.. If you know what i mean.. lol Even tho some of us argued and some argued really for the first time.. we worked through it and had a wonderful time!! It was amazing!!! just thought i would share! I was happy i was with and got to see my bestest friends!!!!!!!

God bless you guys!!!

2008-05-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

well hmm its been a while.. not much has been going on.. just the same ol' life... well minus school because of right now IM DONE!!! Got me a nice car(at least i think so), my summer is going amazing, well life is just pretty good right now not going to lie. I mean to everything that has been going good there is almost something equally badish... maybe maybe not equal but theres something bad.. but those bads are no longer going to be bads.. i'll look as it as bumps in the road lol.. the road of life that is.. haha.. (okay not funny sorry) family stuff is going pretty good for the most part.. more then it has for a while.. so im Stoked about that.. sorry i feel like im rambling on.. dont really know what to talk about... but right now im going to go because i back is hurting from the sun, my foot is hurting because of my stupidness and hard headedness of not going to the doctor, and well im tired.. lol sooo So long! until next time our rivers intertwine!

2008-05-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

well hmm man that last post was really depressing or at least i thought it was.. so more up and up.. God is Amazing.. and just well here i'll tell you a little story... its pretty amazing..!

So well like previously state.. i was feeling like i was being tortured( which is never fun at all ) lol well anyways.. I just was at a point of you know what God where the heck are you, because at this point i can see how people live without you.. its not that hard... ( i know Completely stupid) At church tho i finally broke. while i was sitting in my chair During worship. I just prayed "God if you really are out there if you really do exist and im not just being crazy when i pray. Show me a sign! Anything Lord but show me a sign for I'm starting to doubt you completely."

It almost seemed immediately i looked up after praying and Trent Austin was looking at the section i was sitting at. He put the mic up to his lips as if to say something but then he hesitated. waited a couple more seconds then he finally spoke. When he did it felt like God was speaking through him straight to me! He was like anyone out there that is hurting or doubting that God woould speak to them and give them strength.. and stuff and man it had me bawling like a baby.. lol..

Well God is amazing and i dont know why i even doubt or get mad or anything that i do .. But there is a story of how God will show up.. If only you get down and HONESTLY want Him to show you something He will come!

God bless!! thanks for everything

its been some time

2008-05-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

Wow how it has been a while since i have been on.. had to take care of some personal crap going on through life.. well all in that area is swell but I've lost myself and its kinda scary and hard and worries me and makes me furious over the littlest of things... If anyone has had this feeling of i just dont care.. then you know what i mean when i say ... IT SUCKS lol...

I cannot say that i havent completely felt Him because i have it just seems that when i get a curve ball im expecting a fastball right down the middle (I'm expecting something easy and instead of what i think it should be He decides that its time for a curve to come and throw me off).. okay i use baseball analogies alot i have realized and its the same one.. but i just.. literally just now thought you know Ive been getting fast ball after fast ball and as long as im still with Him its easy and the fast balls come and then out of nowhere a curveball and I get upset but if you think about baseball right after that fastball there is more then likely another pitch coming.. and you can't dwell on the curve that you swung and missed because then you cant focus on the pitch coming.... sorry broke out on a tangent lol

like i was saying.. I have lead myself off course and away from God COMPLETELY! umm i hate it and its awful and so life right now is hard and kinda REALLY sucks but i know it shall get better if i seek Him out with my heart.. I honestly got so fed up with myself i contemplated going back to what i used to do and go start over.. because right now its hard for me to have faith and believe in Him.. like i almost gave up completely on Him.. i know Crazy stupid move on my part if i would... just with things in life that i dont think should happen happen and for some reason God knows better then me lol.. For some reason lol.. made me laugh...

Okay im sorry that might not make sense but there you have it.. hope you get something and Hopefully you dont relate with me because it is an awful feeling..

God bless! Love you all!

Bridgeway

2008-03-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

So i cant tell the whole story to all, but i went to Bridgeway Church last Sunday! I only stayed for the worship and so from that it was amazing.. I was told that they healed 2 people back to back of knee problems that day.. along with others! But before Worship I was asked if he could pray over me.. I was like well of course.. He was kinda afraid that it might bother me or something. He layed hands on me and went. My tears flowed from my eyes because the things he said, By the way i had only met the guy maybe 15 min before, The things he said just were things that you had to know me to be able to know. It was just so amazing that God, even tho i thought i wasn't being able to see Him or hear Him, He was still working! PRAISE THE LORD, HE IS AMAZING!! It was one of the most freeing times in a while.. I did enjoy it immensely! Something about the hearts of the people there was So much different to the feel at, dare i say it, Lifechurch. It was just I cannot explain it.

P.S. Sorry if i offended anyone with the last statement. But it is true!

GOD IS STILL WORKING EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT FEEL HIM NOW! He works on His time not on ours! All things are possible, He never leaves you but you take Him with you through everything you do!!

God bless you All!! I love you all! Let Him shine through you and work in all you do!

2008-03-01T12:05:00.000-08:00

well hello again... I was wondering why it seems that even tho i get in the word, i pray , and i do good in the eyes of the good. then why i does it seem to me that i am not getting close to God? See I dont know the answer or i would have fixed it along time ago. God is amazing in the things He has done in my life. I cannot wait to see what else He has in store for me!

Can anyone answer that question?!

God be with you all!

2008-02-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

Louie and Ashley had some in depth convos via email. but then just 3 months after living a life for Jesus and walking it out. She was killed in a car accident. Her car had ran into a telephone pole. Her brother, the one that emailed Louie, couldn't understand why God would give her new life and then take her out? Her mom found out that Ashley had been talking with Louie for sometime and she got his email and started to ask questions and then asked him if she could get the emails that they exchanged. He agreed and her mom was excited to hear everything that was going on in her life.. her mom and her brother both could see the change in Ashley.. Her dad tho, is a atheist, Ashley had told him what she had learned and how much she had changed, how happy and full of life for the first time. He was still upset. and this was another reason he was an atheist. Louie got an email from Ashleys dad. He told him that Ashley's funeral was one like he had never seen before. Everyone was happy and was rejoicing. he didnt know why. He said that he didnt know more then 1/4 of the people for the rest were those from her church and life group and college life. Krista spoke at the funeral. Spoke how that ever since Ashley had the Lord she was completely different, not living anything from the past. Everything from the past was gone.

Ashley's dad emailed Louie. he stated, I don't believe in your God or anything that goes with Him, but i noticed something different in my daughter. Something that has never been there her whole life. She was Happy. Peaceful and knew what she was doing. I was wondering if i could ask you some questions. and sorry for being offensive. Louie agreed to the questions. (he was only thinking like one or two. he got 15 and not easy ones lol)

Ashley always wanted a way to reach the world after having Christ in her life. I think her story does that exactly. She, in just 14 days of living with Krista accepted Christ into her life. Satan after the greatest 3 months of her life, and living it out for Christ he took her out thinking her story wouldn't be told and that she couldn't reach anyone. I believe he was wrong. She touched me in a way, without knowing, i will never forget Ashley.

some other passion story

2008-02-26T20:35:00.001-08:00

Well Louie talked again the second day, He started by telling some emails that he had received a while back. A question one 16 year old boy asked, Why does God do things to the people I love?!

he didnt know what to reply. In the message he said that his sister had gotten in a car crash on the way home from college and was killed. As Louie answered back, he told him that he didn't have an answer for why those things happen and he wanted to know if there was anything he could do. the 16 year old boy went on to talk back and forth. He didnt have a answer to most of his questions for they were ones that arent answerable.

Well back to the other story... Krista had mentioned to Ashley a Passion Conference that she just got back from attending and how amazing the speaker, Louie Giglio was! She went on to explain to her what Louie had said and that anything and everything you have done is forgiven if you have Jesus Christ as your savior! Ashley soon gave her life to Christ later that month. For the first time, she wrote, she felt alive and free. She immediately told her mom and brother and they were so excited for her! She started living for Christ! She went to life groups and got more involved in the church and started leading and learning for Christ! She went to Email Louie and tell her of her story! how because of his teaching at one of the Passions she went to believe in God and Jesus as her savior!

How amazing is that! sometimes i wish i had that kind of testimony... but yet again i will leave you without finishing it.. It isnt quite over! ill be back

Take Care God Bless

some passion story!

2008-02-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

Well on with some of the story.. Well Ashley, the partier, told her mom and her brother, who are Christ followers, about Krista... They thought of it as a great opportunity for her to learn about God. She got back and she kept on drinking and partying. Well another day she asked Krista some things about the bible, God, Jesus, and just some questions about why and she answered that God was the reason that She was always happy.. and explained everything else..

I'll tell the rest rest later sometime...

Ashley and Krista story from Passion!

2008-02-25T13:20:00.000-08:00

okay well there is this girl named Ashley she is in college and seems to be in love with her boyfriend. They are both partyers and drinks and smokes. One day Ashley doesn't feel to good so she goes back to her apartment, when she walks in she walks in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else! She immediately kicks him out of the house and cuts the relationship. She can pay for the apartment just fine she just wants someone to be in there and so she can talk to them.. This is where Krista comes in the story. She finds a apartment room open for rent on the board at school and she checks it out. A couple weeks later she moved in with Ashley. Krista is a bible kid, Church kid. Well after a couple of weeks Ashley is back with her boyfriend and Krista is with her asking her if she is still okay with him and if she loved him or not. She answered with , We've been through so much, i think i love him. Another couple weeks later Ashley was crying on the couch and Krista asked if she was okay.. She was like i notice that you actually read your Bible. All that seems so important to you. Why is that? Krista explained everything about How Jesus came and died for us and that included her and that no matter how much bad things that she had done Jesus was there for her. Krista had to leave for class and asked if they could continue the talk later.... Ashley said of course... ........

I'll be back myself later. I have to go to work! Tell me what you think of it so far. tell me if it even makes sense and then i can work with that to tell you the true meaning if it doesnt... thanks yalll

God bless you!

Sorry about waiting... Heres day 1 Passion!

2008-02-25T13:09:00.001-08:00

So passion was just amazing.. plain and simple hehe.. Louie Giglio spoke the first day, this is what he talked about....

He started by saying that the main purpose of Passion is to spread Jesus to College students all across the country and Soon all across the World!!! He said that we need to live life as tho it isnt for us and that it is always about Jesus Christ! that even when we think life could be about us it really isnt. He went on to say what the 268 generation was about.. Its the quote that he started it with, Isaiah 26:8... YES LORD, He stopped on a two word tangent. He said that if we got anything out of the week that it was that.. Yes Lord, people would ask what you said yes to and you could simply say Lord.. What did he say.. I dont know I just said Yes to Lord and thats it!

Die to your little petty things in life that keep you from living for Christ.. Your arguments, dissagrements.. i dont know just anything that gets in the way of living for Him because Life is about Him and nothing else. Die to the little things so you can be a part of the Huge Epic..

Giglio went to say that he believed that there are 2 ways to show Gods love.

1) Way you live, it should give you the reason for living

2) Having a personal encounter with Jesus!

That number 2 is essential to it! Even the smallest encounters is enough to show the love of God!

I need some words to help.

2008-02-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

Okay well i was at work tonight, everything normal, and i bring up something about religion and like how some people thought of someone as the antichrist and she was like ya just like Hitler.. i was like okay ya kinda he spoke so smoothly that he got everyone to trust him and then did horrible things.. well that wasnt the thing.. she went on to be like.. well he's back on earth serving what he did.. i started to laugh.. i mean i know i shouldnt have but i did, She asked me if i believed in reincarnation? My answer was a firm NO, no way did i or do i believe that. She was like so you are telling me that God put us on this earth for a one time shot. I was like if you look at it like that.. then ya.. its for us to give God glory and i was like find one scripture in the Bible that tells me otherwise and i might consider thinking otherwise.. She was like well not everything in the Bible is true! I was like O HECKS NAW YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT MY GOD'S WORDS ARE LIES! not really like that.. but i was like so you are telling me that God's words arent true and that everything I believe in is false and completely absurd?

She went on to say that she believes that God's words are true just everything else is not completely true. that the disciples and everyone else could have put their own spin on it. I told her she was out side her mind thinking that..

So i need help here.. Please someone give me something that i might be able to back myself up more then i can. I dont know alot so help would be amazing.. thanks.. hehe..

I dont know about you but i dont like the fact of someone telling me that the Bible, the one thing that i can know is true, is false! Not liking it at all..

Thanks again..

God bless

Night Session Day 1

2008-02-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

PASSION '08!!!

2008-02-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

Okay well to start IT WAS AWESOME!!!! words cant explain how much fun and how much i grew with God.. Man o man i was incredible.. okay well Kristian Stanfill, Chris Tomlin, Christy Nockles and David Crowder Band all lead worship over the two days.. Let me tell you, it was my first time to see David Crowder.. and he's a interesting looking person.. lol.. Hippyish.. well they all did outstanding.. God really worked through them all.. it was just so happy and in awe of what God was doing.. CRAZY!! lol its kinda hard to explain all what they went over in the sermons.. I bought them by the way if someone wants to hear them.. i can try and send a copy or something or if you are close i can let you borrow it.. They went over alot... even the HOLY SPIRIT!!! it was great.. man .. i'll continue if you want to hear more.. just let me know

Union College Disaster

2008-02-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

So ill tell you all about Passion later.. but a subject that they brought up was the Union College that got hit by all those tornados.. if you havent heard go look it up... Well one night all the dorms were filled up with all the students hanging out and doing whatever they were doing and suddenly, out of no where , their ears poped and everything was ripped away. Students all from the campus walked out of the tornado.. HAVING EVERYTHING TORN APART! All the Doorms were hit. With the protection from GOD, NO ONE WAS greatly injured.. a few, very few, had to go to the hospital for cuts.. but get this.. NO ONE DIED!! where hundreds should have been killed.. no one was!!!

God is the only answer to the question.. Why... wow.. i cryed when they told that story.. GOD SAVED THEM ALL!!

again if you havent seen pictures of the campuse please look it up.. it is such a great story!

Peace be with all of you.. Shine with the light of God to those who are in the dark!
Love you all!

PASSION:DALLAS

2008-02-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

Man this first night was amazing! The worship was intense, wow.. and the story.. man o man.. its so amazing! Im having a blast! I will have to elaborate more later! but until then God is moving in crazy ways!!

BIG WEEKEND!!!

2008-02-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was BIG WEEKEND '08!!! okay to say.. i told people it was just okay... but looking at it... IT WAS AMAZING!! I don't know if you guys knew or not but Charlie Hall is a STUD!! man he is so true with everything he says and the way he acts on or off stage is the same... just one of the most incredible person that i have ever met!

This week if i just was to say I got one thing out of this weekend would to say that WE are called to Love, okay i know it sounds like something we have always been told but to, Love everyone like Family.. And honestly at times i don't always love my family.. and there are some that don't at all a lot of the time but We are Called to love everyone with the love that we are supposed to show our family.. And that when we do this It attracts those who don't know God and it will eventually have them wondering what We have that they don't... which is Jesus!!

We won't have to speak anything of the Bible to them, we won't have to tell them what we believe at first for them to wonder what we have... We will be the light to the world and they will finally see that they have been living in the darkness for way to long!

2008-02-05T20:56:00.001-08:00

GOP!!! I VOTED!! DID YOU!? Believe that your vote does count, dont let it pass as if your 1 vote wont do anything cause it does!

Beautiful night

2008-01-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

Well i dont know about you but if you were to go out tonight, Monday the 28, You would feel the most wonderful weather you would ever feel. Okay well maybe thats just me but if you have gone to Mexico on the mission trips then you know what i mean. It reminds me of the nights there. Around quiet time and playtime.. and honestly being alone outside makes it feel so much better. I'm so thankful that God blesses us with these days, well nights like these.. i think i could fall asleep outside! Nothing awe inspiring here...:) ah well.. .Good night yall have a great Day and Keep strong in the walk with God! Don't let the light go dim!

Love you all! Good Night

2008-01-26T21:12:00.001-08:00

I guess no matter how much you think you are over an addiction it can come back faster then ever.. i really hate it.. and i wish it didnt happen.. I dont know just thought i would say that.. doesn't mean much but just im upset that i would let anger reenter my life... something deeper.. i dont know probably.. but still ....

2008-01-24T23:40:00.000-08:00

Can i just ask for you to let me know what God has been showing you all lately? maybe this week or day or month... maybe even throughout the last year... i dont know i just want to see how God is working through you all... Thanks

Dont forget God's strength and His power! It takes just faith... He heals and saves and forgives and lets things by.. He knows what we are to do in life and He lets us walk it out! Don't stray or faulter.. keep the path and let Him be the light while you walk it. And when you go out in to the world Be the light and shine so bright that people wonder why you are the way you are...Show God's Love!!!

BE THE LIGHT!!! Love you all!!!

2008-01-21T22:47:00.001-08:00

SORRY FOR MAKING THAT LAST ONE SO LONG!! i'll try to shorten them... but if i did then i would have to make another one.. and then they would equal out to being the same length so .. all in one so you can stay focused lol... SORRY THO! ;)

2008-01-21T22:28:00.000-08:00

When your perspective changes from that which your eyes can see to that which God tells you is true, in this reality your mind set changes. And in it you will se that those that are enslaved Can be set free, what is broken can still be mended, what is diseased can still be restored, what is hated can be loved, what is dirty can be made clean, and what is wrong can still be made right!

Faith comes from hearing and hearing the word of God. In other words, by knowing and walking with Christ, people can be freed from anything that has them tangled up.(Bill Hybels "Holy Discontent")

I realized that i was CONTENT with my life. That I stopped walking with God and the blessings that He once gave me, He took back to make sure I knew that I was falling(once again). The person i saw that was meant for me... He opened my eyes to her but once i fell away He had to take what I held so dear to me. The thing that was keeping my mind off Him. And just today i realized that I, myself, made the big mistake and that was, When life got great I stopped relying on God to keep it going Great. ONE OF MY GREATEST MISTAKES. I never though have had that greatness in my life before. I never knew what that really was. So when it came around i just was so happy that i was blessed with that feeling I forgot that God was the one to thank for the Greatness and God was also the one to thank for bringing life back down for me to realize that i had fallen away, I just slowly was not going as much as i was doing before. I just never had accountablility, not that i do now, but i do talk to people now. Just Feeling as though I was and actually doing it, you might not feel it but you sure will FEEL it later when God HAS to show you that you have fallen away from Him.

God doesn't want to have to bring you back down to earth because He knows how much you can do while you are fired up with/in Him. But once you start falling then He, if no one else brings it to attention, must stop the blessings and Slam the door in your face to get you to realize that if you don't start coming back He can't work through you!

I dont know why you wouldn't want to be worked through by God. I also don't know why people when they once had God's blessings and treasure, Why, once you fell, would you allow yourself to keep falling while you know that you are distant and keep falling? YOU KNOW THE BLESSING AND THE LOVE OF GOD!!! why not strive for it more? probably the same reason i dont alway... back to lazyness , selfishness you want all your time....

All that to say, Once you realize that you have fallen... you probably have been straying for a little while before you realize it. God Doesn't want to punish you for falling but He has to do something to OPEN YOUR EYES TO IT!!!

Love you all Keep the light burning!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

2008-01-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

Long time no talk! I have been looking at my life lately for some reason. Mine, my new close friends and my old friends. I just have seen how with my old friends that i seem to be the one that has stuck it out while some of them have taken the slower route and not been as close.. well as far as i know.. But then i think Why do they not strive to know Him more then they do? What in life do they look at that is so important that they would look towards it instead of looking towards God? And then you see some that are really wanting to be there but they dont get there. they let the worldly stuff get in the way of it. I look at me and i dont think i have fire or passion most the time. and i dont see as i have alot together.. i try hard to but image is dif. then your heart.. like my heart is strong and trusting for God but its just hard when life throws a curve ball into the picture when you were used to fast balls down the middle. lol.. sorry i do alot of stuff with baseball.. i think... anywho.. i dont know what i went to with that.. sorry RANDOM!

2008-01-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

is it weird for someone to write a note for people for like just incase they might die? I dont know i thought it was weird but i did it anyways.. im NOT suicidal if you were wondering just i was writing about how if i were to die in an accident or something out of nowhere were to happen what i wanted people to know and stuff.. Last 2 pages in that journal Mandy gave me.. just incase thought i would let you all know where it was..

I know thats creepy.. sorry.. lol.. its nothing special just stuff i want kids family friends.. anyone who knows.. just to know..

It is really weird i know but what if something were to happen to you and you didnt get to leave a how to live message to your kids, friends, family? I just hope nothing happens to anyone like that just had me thinking last night for some reason.. i dont know why and so i just wrote..

Sorry if i creeped any one out.. I love you all Have a God Filled day, Be the light to everyone you come in contact with, dont hold a grudge, and life is so much better when you are in a great mood and Smiling all the time isnt a bad thing i learned.. :) so always think of the best of the worst and always remember God will be with us through all the hard times.. Even if it seems like he is nowhere to be found He is right there with you.. He is protecting you but He is trying to see how you will be if you are shaken.. and He will Shake you when you get to complacent and you dont really feel or are close to Him.. He always wants your attention.. ALWAYS!!!

(thank you for letting me realize it, I never really thought of it that way so once more Thank You for everything :) )

2008-01-12T20:00:00.001-08:00

Okay well im just going to say that this isnt anything really deep... well i dont plan on it.. Lol.. well my dad and step mom came in town yesterday. I went to dinner last night with them and today I spent all day/well afternoon with them. We went to lunch and then went to the hotel. After playing games and watching my dad sing to a song on Rock Band we went to pops.. We were going to eat dinner there but there was an hour wait.. So we bought some drinks and left.. but before we did.. i saw coach alstatt.. how ever you spell his name.. and his wife and the oppels.. lol wow.. i was like hmm i feel weird lol.. they asked me how long it has been since i went to pops and i told them that i skipped school to go the other day lol.. anyways.. we ended up going to makie mcnears in edmond.. which i dont sugest you going there.. go to the one on 23 and macaurthur.... then we went back to the hotel and waited for my older brother to get there(adam) and then we did Christmas with them lol.. i know a little late but better then never i guess lol.. I will have to tell you what i got when i open stuff..... i have felt so tired and dead almost all day .. i dont really like it that much makes me feel as if i were all depressed and emo! ahhh i dont like it.. lol... well im dressing up tomorrow with my suit for church! I love doing that.. trying to look good.....I hope that you all like my dad and step mom 'cause i do.. and so i know you will... so i guess i will see you when i see you all if i see you guys.. have a great night God Bless you all!

patience

2008-01-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

So for some reason i guess God is trying to show me that i need to wait and be patient in life. No matter what i have read today what i have seen or done.. it all leads to the way of being patient. We got a new book today for XL(student leadership) at church and the last question is kinda a challenge. It asked to do something you dont like to do, to do 2 things you dont want to do and do it for 2 weeks. It was giving examples and it was like blah blah blah, and then Discipline of waiting lol.. Seriously?! lol i was like wow i guess i must need to start to slow down and rethink everything and just wait for God to work through me.. I was like well i guess i will take that.. and honestly reading the book would be my second think.. So i would appreciate it if you all could check up on me and make sure i am doing it.. Seriously though Everything today has made me think that i have been moving, moving, moving.. and just I need to wait and slow down. and just Be patient.. lol.. okay well thats all to say Slow down, look at your life and make sure you are doing it according to God and make sure you are on track... I mean sometimes you think you are doing good but when you look at it realize that it isnt exactly what He was intending on you doing! Just think and rethink and make sure that you are doing it for Him and through Him and what He is wanting from you...

I will challenge you guys as well as i am myself. Choose 2 things you don't necessarily want to do, anything, chores or loving someone you dont think is lovable(if you think that then you deff need to take a look back at yourself) umm and just find 2 that you dont want to do and Challenge yourself to do it once a day. Discipline yourself and have someone hold you accountable about it and try for 2 weeks.. Keep me posted as well i will with you.. I will go through this book if yall would like.. Love you all Take Care... Stay safe And KEEP HIM NUMBER 1 And Stay focused on Him!!!!

2008-01-07T22:36:00.001-08:00

I've been in such a joyous time lately and i knew that eventually I would have to come back down.. There isn't an explanation for it, but i know that there are times in your life that are just JOYFUL and then something brings you back down... and it doesn't necessarily have to be something.. It JUST happens for some reason and i couldn't tell you why. I guess it is the cycle of life.. either that or you let something the Devil says to you actually get to you. He just will have a foothold there, in the place you are letting him speak to you in, until you have reassurance in the area you are doubting( what is what gives him the foothold (doubt))Or struggling with. I have more of the thoughts that it is the Devil aspect of it. And it isn't that you are doubting strongly on a topic it is just that you are Doubting PERIOD!! I know as the rest of you that it is hard for you to not doubt anything anytime at all. Trust me I understand but there Has to be a way through it and i know you guys have faith in God! i know that anything the Devil throws at us can just be thrown and as much as he wants to throw it because God will walk with us and protect us as much as He wants! He wont stop everything and so it will feel as though He has left you , but THAT ISN'T TRUE AT ALL!!!! Let me reassure you that God will never leave your side. He will always be there ALWAYS! He should be the one we have our Whole heart into. And i know most of us rarely have our whole hearts into anything at one time but HE should have it all the time! I know that was Way off topic I started from but you know i like to say what i am thinking.He he but back to serious. I just feel as though I just let somethings i started doubting I just let the Devil take it and run with it. I know I should have stopped him before he could have had the chance but he kept on throwing those thoughts in my mind(the ones making me doubt). The devil makes you think the worst of the situation eve when there is no need and there is no reason to doubt. There is my favorite verse that i guess kinda goes with this and its at the top but i'll say it again anyways. James 4:7 Resist the Devil and he will flee from you. Amazing verse and i hold it dear to me.

So all that to say, Is there something in your life that the Devil has been throwing thoughts at you and you finally gave up and started doubting? Or just Times you fall into those Thoughts.. whichever they may be?

P.S. I love you guys. Keep strong and Keep God as the number 1 in everything you do, EVERYWHERE YOU GO! God has great plans for us all so just listen to Him and do as He says!

2008-01-05T03:44:00.001-08:00

I HATE ADDICITONS or Struggles or whatever you may call them.. I JUST HATE THEM WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!

thinking

2008-01-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

So have you ever been in a bad mood and happened to say something that you didnt mean and immediately regretted it? Ya me either. Like lets say, on the phone with the rents, you are trying to get directions or meet them up somewhere and you both are driving, and the other is being so umm stupid and can't listen to exact directions and street names and you just accidentally go off on them. okay maybe thats just me. but What do you do after? I know the simple im sorry, but that doesn't cut it. How are you supposed to react and what are you supposed to say when you actually get to the destination?

Happened today just looking for some good advice.. hehe.... any who... Hope alls well at your houses and everything is just a joyful time.. I really do hope.. We argue and fight but in the end we all realize that the fight or "argue" you are in is kinda, pointless? Yes, sometimes its not and then there are other times where you fight and just fight and argue the topic just because you seem to think that if you don't win then you won't be listened to.. That is how i was and am sometime still but i have realized that doing that just causes Anger and if it isn't resolved then it can sometimes end up in a sort of hatred. Which i could be wrong but i think it is against what God is wanting in our life.

And those were just thoughts that i would throw out there.. :) Have a good and keep God the focus of the day as well Love all you!

2008-01-01T00:54:00.000-08:00

For some reason it doesnt really feel like the New Year.. just a regular day like always.. also.. this Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas either. Does anyone know why? because i would like to know lol. . well just thought i would say Keep God focused all this year, listen to what He has to say, and Do what he wants you to do! dont hesitate!.. you'll lose your opportunity for whatever it is He was planning for that moment! When you feel like He is calling you to do something go and DO IT!
okay thats all for today.. lol

Hope you all had a safe and a great New Year night!

my picture

2007-12-31T13:15:00.000-08:00

On that picture i posted, THE HILL OF CROSSES! It is a magnificant sight! It is in Lithuania.. please look it up! not much to say about it but it is breath-taking!!! Hundreds of thousands of crosses on this hill. Back in the day the government of the USSR bulldosed, nocked down, the whole hill at least 3 times. But when it was obvious that the Catholic religion wouldnt stop coming to the hill and leaving crosses, the gov. gave up trying to nock it down!

New Years Resolutions?

2007-12-31T13:08:00.001-08:00

So as i know you guys are so syked about the New year! Everyone better be getting those Resolutions ready! okay really?! Who keeps those? Who remembers what they were at the end of the year? Okay, well instead of making those new year resolutions and knowing that you are going to fail at keeping those, I think there is something called accountability that you should have?. correct? Accountability is to help you from continuing the wrongs you have been doing for a long, or short while. There has to be a person you can trust with everything. Someone who doesn't go and tell your stuff right after, but someone who keeps your secrects and prays for you! Someone you look up to and can give you advice for tuff situations. I believe that when you have accountability it helps you though those tuff situations, how to help people, well just HELP all together. Well, that all doesn't go together.. well i dont think.. but you tell me what your thoughts on accountability..... Oh and HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!!!!! And A HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laziness? Scared?

2007-12-29T02:16:00.000-08:00

So today i woke up really late, like 2! WOW thats late. And I know that there is stuff that i should get up and do but my laziness gets the best of me. I'm not just saying that to say that i get up late and put off what I want to do. But it is the same way with what God wants me to do. You know those times that you want to do something but it is so much easier just to stay where you are and not do anything about it? All the time God is wanting us to do something, something to show his love, just to show people. And i think that everyday there is that time where you know He is calling you to do something but you are either A)to lazy to do it or B) to scared to do it.

I think that most of the times that we are mostly to scared to do it. It usually, well for me, is just to tell someone something. A simple, Have a blessed day or something to that effect. I am just to worried about what their reactions might be to it. Usually it is at my work.

Q. What is it for you? What is it that stops you from showing God to others?

Just thoughts

2007-12-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

So if anyone has worked with their family at a job then you know what I am about to say. I work with my brother 6 days a week, every week. Me and him argue, usually, all the time. Except at work, just because he is manager and can't do that there. Ha. But for some reason working together, when i think about it, has brought us closer together in a way. It is hard to explain. If you know me and know him then you know that it is hard for us to get along with each other for a long period of time. We have and it is so awesome. I don't think he thinks the same as me but thats a whole different story. We have slowed down our arguments and rarely do we fight. But we are brothers what do you expect out of us. Don't know what all that is for I just thought i would let you know!

2007-12-26T21:35:00.000-08:00

This is my sweet child o' mine. Okay not really but I sometimes wish he were. His name is, Joshua Jeramia Harding, or JJ as we call him. I love this kid to death. He is just the sweetest thing! AH i wish he were my child when i get older. :) I really love him. We are just messing around using Photo Booth on my Mac!

Thoughts from today

2007-12-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

So today I woke up to go eat with mandy, her fam, and caroline. Which I didn't know they were going to wait for me to get there to order, so i took my time :). After that we went to see National Treasure:Book of Secrets WHICH WAS AWESOME!! with Hannah, Mandy, and Caroline. Then i got to go feed llamas over at coopers(in the dark). So i left my cars headlights on so i could see so when ever i got to be heading home My car wouldn't start... i know YAY!!! no it was FREEZING!!! Thank God i have wonderful friends that will bail me out of times like that. Thank you Matt Hudgins! you are a life saver!! anyways thats my night I will be on soon! Hope the talks all went well! crossing my fingers